Prayer to Find a Wife: A Biblical Approach

How a Christian man can pray to find his future wife with Scriptural support.

In 2021, I was corresponding with a Christian young man considering marriage. He’d never been married. He was not dating anyone, but he wanted to find a good woman to marry. I had an idea.

What if he could pray a Bible-based prayer to find a wife?

That is, what if he could pray for a wife with the qualities that God deems admirable as revealed in Scripture? In short, I wanted to help him (and others) explore how to pray for a wife in a biblical way. 

So I wrote a prayer.

(And it worked out for him: see final section).  

This prayer does not address everything a young man should do while he waits. He should continue to trust in the Lord (Proverbs 3:5-6), remain in his unmarried state for now (1 Corinthians 7:20), and flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). Those are the basics. But it seems praying for these qualities is a reasonable exercise for any Christian man seeking a wife, assuming he’s free to marry in the Lord.

Prayer to Find a Wife

Here’s the prayer: 

Lord, I would love to be married. Would you be kind to bring me a woman who is a Christian? I would like a wife I could love by your Spirit, as Christ loved the Church. I would like a wife who will respect me. I would like a wife with whom I could live the rest of my life.

I do not want a woman who was unlawfully divorced from a previous husband. I would like you to show me favor in your choice for me. I would like to be able to trust her. I would like my wife to be my crown. I would like a prudent wife.

I would like a wife who will build our house, not one who will tear it down. I don’t want a quarrelsome wife. I would like a wife who will help me not be sexually tempted. I would like a wife who could joyfully submit to me in the Lord.

I would like a wife who will do me good and not harm all of my days. I would like a wife who is wise and kind. And Lord, if you would bring us children, may our children praise her as a good mother.

Prayer for a Future Wife (with Scriptural Support)

• Lord, I would love to be married.
• Would you be kind to bring me a woman who is a Christian? (“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14)
• I would like a wife I could love by your Spirit, as Christ loved the Church. (“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” Ephesians 5:25)
• I would like a wife who will respect me. (“However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” Ephesians 5:33)
• I would like a wife with whom I could live the rest of my life. (“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6)
• I do not want a woman who was unlawfully divorced from a previous husband. (“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9).
• I would like you to show me favor in your choice for me. (“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the LORD.” Proverbs 18:22)
• I would like to be able to trust her. (“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11)
• I would like my wife to be my crown. (“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.” Proverbs 12:4)
• I would like a prudent wife. (“House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” Proverbs 19:14)
• I would like a wife who will build our house, not one who will tear it down. (“The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.” Proverbs 14:1).
• I don’t want a quarrelsome wife. (“It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.” Proverbs 25:24)
• I would like a wife who will help me not be sexually tempted. (“But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:2)
• I would like a wife who could joyfully submit to me in the Lord. (“Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18)
• I would like a wife who will do me good and not harm all of my days (“She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.” (Proverbs 31:12)
• I would like a wife who is wise and kind. (“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26)
• And Lord, if you would bring us children, may our children praise her as a good mother. (“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:28)

Minor Qualifications in a Prayer for a Future Wife

This is not a complete list of things a Christian man can pray for in a future wife. Feel free to add to the list as it seems best – but make sure you can attach a Bible verse to it. In that way, you are “praying God’s word back to him.”

Finally, the Lord gets to decide what is best for any man. In other words, I wouldn’t use this list as hard-and-fast requirements for a potential wife. But the prayer should prove to be helpful as biblical guidance on what to consider in a future wife for a single, Christian man.

P.S. He Found a Christian Wife

A quick update to this prayer. I originally published this post in 2021, and I’m updating it now in 2025. That same young man I mentioned above is now happily married to a wonderful, godly woman who fits most of the qualities that this young man was praying for at the time.

It’s a wonderful testimony to the fact that God still answers prayers. For the sake of their privacy, I can’t name them, but I have met them both since they married. And I am rejoicing with this young man on his finding a godly wife (Proverbs 18:22).

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